Back in Action

My goodness it's been a while since I've written a new post on Mark of Beauty! Chasing my toddler and tending to other responsibilities has kept me away, but within the past few weeks I have been revisiting some new stuff on biblical womanhood and would enjoy sharing them with you. I can't say that I'm going to be able to spend as much time on here as I have in the past, especially with a new baby on the way in January :), but I'd love to continue passing along helpful resources that I find and encourage you to dive into them with me.

One neat resource that I've found recently is from Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA. They've been hosting a series on their blog dedicated to biblical womanhood and it's quite good. Here are some of the posts that I have enjoyed so far:

• This Isn’t ‘Separate but Equal." They’re One.: Discusses male and female equality and how that equality is determined by our Maker and who He has created us to be, not by the approval of others or our desire to prove something to others.

• Really Negative Women in Proverbs: Summarizes the negative women of proverbs in a modern day context. The foolish woman. The promiscuous woman. The quarrelsome woman. The embarrassing woman. The moody woman. The flirtatious woman.
  
  
• The Wife of Noble Character: Puts Proverbs 31 into a modern day context and contrasts the post ‘Really Negative Women in Proverbs’.
  
  
• 4 Inadvertent Examples of a Woman in Film: Highlights four recent films that depict women as they learn, inhabit, and demonstrate a more biblical vision of why God made woman than the typical woman we see on the big screen.
  
  
• What I Would Do Differently If I Were a New Bride Today: Jen Smidt, a deacon at Mars Hill Church, lists and works through 11 things that she would do differently now (with age & increased wisdom) that she wishes she would have done as a new bride. (Helpful for women at any life stage.)
  
  
• Awesome Women of Reformation: Summarizes the lives and accomplishments of 14 ‘awesome’ women of the reformation.
  
  
• Talk Like a Lady: Warns us against speaking negatively about ourselves and others. God has created us uniquely and with purpose, and our entire being, including our tongue, should be transformed (Romans 12:2) to reflect His glory.
  
  
• How Not to Change Your Man: Reminds us that God does NOT call us to change our husbands, or ourselves for that matter. Rather, we need to put full confidence in the One who will change us both, and lead each other to the feet of Jesus.
  
  
• Women on the Job: Highlights experiences from 3 different women and shows how the Lord has worked in their lives to make them stand out for Him in their careers. The post also provides 5 helpful tips to strike a balance between working hard, having a life, and loving Christ.

Enjoy your time exploring these posts, and I hope to rejoin you on Mark of Beauty soon!

Missionality Revisited

I've been revisiting my past posts on missionality this week in order to re-evaluate the way that my family, and also our community group, is pursuing practical missionality (love like Jesus and make His gospel known) among the people that the Lord has placed in our sphere of influence, and as I've been doing this, my husband introduced a talk from Pastor David Platt to me that was given at the Advance the Church conference this April. The underlying thesis of this talk, The Gospel Advanced: Radical Service, is that the gospel compels radical concern for the needs of the world around us. We can't believe the gospel and not pursue urgent missiology.

Here's the talk below. I would encourage you to take the time to listen to Pastor Platt and be prepared to have God change you through his words. These words that Pastor Platt speaks and the gospel message in itself is changing me.

Following Jesus' Example First

I write a lot on this blog about how I desire to become more and more like Jesus, and that's truly what I want for my life.

I just read an interesting blog post from Practical Theology for Women, titled Equipping Women for Gospel-Centered Lives, and I came across something that I've never thought about before. As we pursue godly womanhood and desire to become more and more like Jesus, we have to ALWAYS put Jesus before us and nothing else. We can study about how other women have pursued Jesus and have walked down the road toward godly womanhood, but we have to remember that our end-goal is not to become those women, but to become like Jesus. Here's a quote from the blog that I was reading:

Day in and day out, I hear from woman after woman who doesn’t fit the mold, perhaps by her choice but more often by circumstances completely out of her control, who feels lost in our evangelical construct of what the godly woman looks like. The problem is that she was not taught clearly that the image in which she was created is God’s and the image to which she is now being conformed is Christ’s. She feels pressure to be like Ruth or the Proverbs 31 woman but not so much to be like Christ. But Scripture doesn’t give us that leeway. She was created in God's image and is being conformed back to Christ's. Period.

Obviously, if learning about the practices of those women and how their struggles and successes helped them become more like Jesus, than studying their lives is only healthy. But it's when we set our sights on becoming those women that we're going to get ourselves in trouble. The Proverbs 31 woman was a godly woman, but still sinful! Her works and disciplines are to be admired and something that we can strive to achieve, with Jesus' help. But we must ALWAYS remember that it's about Jesus. And whether or not our lives resembles attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman or Sarah or Esther at the end of our lives (seeking godliness should produce fruit similar to that in these women), as long as we pursue Jesus -- it will be His character and His grace that will shine through us to transform us into the women after God's own heart. If following the example of the Proverbs 31 woman helps us get there ... great. That's why her story was included in scripture. But that should be secondary to how we pursue a life like Jesus.

Overwhelmed by the need for missionality ...

Now more than ever before I feel a deep need to be missional for the sake of Jesus Christ within my neighborhood. I've never quite felt this strongly about it before. I'm not sure if it's just because of where we live -- a transitional neighborhood that still exudes many signs of poverty and physical brokenness -- or just the sheer fact that the Lord is reconditioning my heart to long for Him and for other people to receive His gospel. I hope it's both!

Just within the last few weeks, my husband and I have branched out more than ever before. We've attended a few neighborhood association meetings and we've tried to be intentional about meeting our new neighbors -- stopping by, inviting them to join us to do different things, etc. And my mind just races with ideas of what I'd love to do to get to know our neighbors better and to begin fostering community.

As a stay-at-home mom with an 18-month-old, I have struggled for a while to figure out how to be missional. My priorities, aside from the Lord, are my husband, then my son, then my church. I don't have time in my day to volunteer at a soup kitchen or an afterschool program for kids, maybe some of the more obvious choices. But when I try to identify ways to be missional, I need to remember that missionality isn't defined by just a specific demographic or need that I can help. It's a mindset and an action that is realized to take the gospel to the people in my sphere of influence in a relevant context. It's the Great Commission lived out (Matthew 28:19-20), and it will look different for every body. But the questions that we need to ask are: 1) Who are the people in our sphere of influence? 2) How can God use us to reach out to them and paint the story of the gospel in a way that's relevant to them? (When I say relevant, I mean to communicate the gospel in a way that the people that I'm communicating to will understand, NOT to just tell the part of the gospel that I think they'll be comfortable hearing OR to shape the gospel in a way so that it becomes a product of what a person's wants, not about who God really is ... kind of like a "designer God".) 3) How will God reorient my life to make missionality a lifestyle instead of just a one-time or occasional event or activity?

So, where does this leave me?

• As a stay-at-home mom, I need to identify the people that are or could be in my sphere of influence.
• What kind of activities or events do I or can I participate in during the week that I can do WITH my son that will help us build relationships with people who don't know Jesus?
  
• How can I not only be effective for the gospel while I'm with him, but also teach him the gospel and the great commission as we interact and intentionally love our neighborhood and the people in it?
  
• Are there things I can do missionally that fall in line with my responsibilities as my husband's helper and my responsibilities around my home?
  
• Who are the people that my family can influence for the gospel?
• What kind of activities or events can we host or be a part of, or places can we go to intentionally love people for the sake of the gospel?
  

When I ask these questions, I need to be honest with myself and my family and determine if these are commitments that we can make over time ... not just a one-time do-good event. I'm sure there's a time and a place for one-time activities, but as I'm contemplating what it means to live a missional life, I need to reorient myself to be missional on a daily basis ... make these activities/events/etc. a regular part of my schedule so that the people I meet and care for and love on, will regularly see Jesus in me and hopefully come to know His greatness! And once it begins in my own life, how wonderful will it be to invite friends and community to be a part of it with me! We see in Acts that this is what we were created for!

If you're a single woman, or you're a recently married woman without children, or a woman that works full-time, or you're retired, or whatever life stage you're in, your missional lifestyle will probably look very different than mine. But the questions you need to ask yourself are still the same: 1) Who are the people in your sphere of influence? 2) How can God use you to reach out to them and paint the story of the gospel in a way that's relevant to them? 3) How will God reorient your life to make missionality a lifestyle instead of just a one-time or occasional event or activity?

This is HUGE ladies! I think it's very easy for us to dodge this call in our lives and say we'll do it later or on the side, but we can't tell ourselves this lie any longer! We must dig in deep right now. Just like the Israelites during their exile to Babylon, God is calling us to "Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food you produce. Marry, and have children. Then find spouses for them, and have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of Babylon. Pray to the Lord for the city where you are held captive, for if Babylon has peace, so will you" (Jeremiah 29:4-7).

Looking for a good book ...

I just stumbled across a great site, Discerning Reader. It looks like quite a gem! From what I can tell, it appears to be biblically based and offers reviews on a wealth of books from Apologetics to Children's Books to Family, Theology and Women. I obviously don't want to vouch for their reviews and say that their opinions are completely in line with what I believe, but from what I've read so far, this Discerning Reader seems to be a great place to locate books with sound theology and read a sound review from a source outside Amazon or some place similar.

So, if you're looking for a good book or a review of a book that you're thinking about reading, consider stopping by Discerning Reader and see what you think. I already found three books that I want to explore: Building Her House (Nancy Wilson), Most of All, Jesus Loves You (Noel Piper), and Gospel-Powered Parenting (William Farley).

Digging Deeper to the Heart

It's interesting how the Lord sharpens and prunes us .... We begin to pray for transformation in different areas of our lives -- change may be immediate or over time -- but it seems that God usually begins to work on and in us when we least expect it. That's how God has been working in me lately.

I've been struggling with what I thought was self-control or the ability to tame my tongue for who knows how long. I would like to think that on most occasions I do control my tongue, but it's during those moments of frustration, many times unwarranted, with those that I love or during casual conversation with folks that I don't even know very well (strange, I know), that the ugliest parts of me are revealed. The most recent bout of this issue seemed to surface sometime in early November '09 (at least that's when I started journaling about it). I've been deep in scripture, looking for 'remedies' to the problem and praying like crazy, and I thought that I was getting somewhere. But these "instances" continued to surface.

It wasn't until a dear friend of mine called me out and asked me if my issue was really self-control or if it was more deeply rooted than just my tongue; that it was a heart issue. I was kinda caught off guard by her comment and became a bit upset. She began to explain that it sounded like a gospel issue -- that my heart was not reflecting the truth of the gospel. "What do you mean?" I thought. "How could that be, of course I know the gospel. Why wouldn't my heart communicate that?" But when I really thought about it, she was dead on. The root of all my insincere remarks and thoughts, unrighteous anger (as if my anger is ever righteous), and slanderous comments and/or thoughts about others is rooted in my lack of understanding of the gospel.

I call myself a Christian. I believe that I am a sinner and that no matter how hard I try I cannot save myself from my sin (Ephesians 2:8-9). Jesus, God's own Son, who is fully God, is the only perfect sacrifice that can save me and he did, that day on Calvary. He died for me and on the third day when He rose and ascended into heaven, I too was redeemed the day I believed. He made me a new creation and justified me. But scripture is very clear that the change in me cannot stop there. (Colossians 1:9-14; Ephesians 2:10) It's a way of life. Jesus' work on the cross was not just for justification purposes, it was for sanctification purposes too. And if I do not pursue the good works and righteousness that He has set out for me, I am neglecting His gift of sanctification and the chance to become more and more like Jesus during my life here on earth.

Therefore, when I say that I do not truly understand the gospel, it's not a misunderstanding of my salvation, but a lack of understanding of who Jesus is and the ways in which He calls me to be like Himself -- progressive sanctification. Obviously it will take me until heaven to truly understand the gospel -- the time when Jesus will open my eyes and allow me to see His full glory -- but it does mean that I must pursue righteousness that only comes from God and not my own foolishness today and for the rest of my time here on earth (Romans 6:18-19).

As I revisit my struggle in light of the gospel, all I can really say is that whatever comes out of my mouth or the thoughts that I stop from coming out of my mouth; if they're not pleasing to Jesus, I know that my heart needs some work. Self-control is an important discipline, but when the out pour of my heart is evil, it's my heart that needs to be fixed first and then I can visit self-control. If I'm not careful, self-control can just be a pretty mask that hides the evil within my heart.

Since I've come to this realization, the Lord has been faithful to heal and change my heart. I am so thankful that He has opened my eyes to this truth.

I deeply desire to be a godly woman of righteousness and one who possesses discretion and a heart that fully knows the gospel and allows it to permeate in all areas of my life. As women who desire to pursue godliness, I pray too that you would make this a prayer for your life as well. Your situation may look a little different than mine, but I believe that as we point each other to these truths, God will transform us into women that are more and more like Jesus every day, and who could ask for anything better? Philippians 1:9-11 speaks this prayer perfectly:

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God.

Gone for a while, but not forever ...

Oh my ... it's been awhile since I've been on Mark of Beauty. With the busyness of Christmas, a move, the new year, and settling into a new house, blogging has not been a priority. (Lack of Internet connectivity can do it too!) But even in the midst of all that's been going on, God continues to be gracious to me and has continued to teach me about Himself and how this broken woman can pursue godliness through the gift of grace that He allowed His son to bestow on me. So needless to say, I still have much to share on Mark of Beauty and plan to bring you up to speed on the latest books I'm reading, scripture I'm studying and phenomenal truths I'm learning.

Believe it or not, I did have time to finally finish Womanly Dominion by Mark Chanski ... I finished the last 5 pages yesterday, and I'm beginning a pretty long, but profound read God, Marriage and Family right now.

I teetered back and forth on Womanly Dominion, trying to figure out if I liked it or not, but now that I've read the entire book, I do think that the book as a whole is great. Chanski's entire premise was to live out God's call for us to "rule and subdue the earth" as women and do so within the perimeters of God's design with a "win it attitude" and not in the way that the world has designed for us. In doing this, he showcases several great women of the Bible and other women throughout history, such as Jonathan Edward's mother, the Wesley's mother and so on, to demonstrate that it can be done. (There's a lot of other good 'meat' but that's the basic premise.)

Another point that Chanski makes that was really profound was that even when we feel like wifehood and motherhood is not glamorous and not the life that is portrayed in the movies, it's a life that God has ordained for us to call us to Himself and to transform us into His own image:

Meet Diana. By age 24, this slender, bright, and beautiful young woman was a newlywed with a BA in Speech Communication and a BS in Education. She loved her husband and the prospects of wifehood and motherhood. At the age of 25, Diana gave birth to a son. About two years later, she birthed a second son. At first the novelties of motherhood and homemaking were quite exhiliterating. She felt blessed by the Lord to be living her fondest dreams.

But soon the exhilaration wore off. Every morning, she faced dirty diapers, runny noses, food messes, temper tantrums, discipline problems, clothing piles, and kitchen clutter. Another son was born. Claustrophobic with cabin fever and boredom doldrums, she sighed, 'Any twelve-year-old could wash these dishes, wipe these fannies, mop that floor, and pour these Cheerios onto this high chair tray.'

Her mind often drifted back to her high school and college years. 'Back then, I was the center of my world. I decided what I wanted to do for myself. My decisions were based on what would please and broaden me. People applauded me on the stage, commended me for my well-delivered speeches, and discussed with me my future goals and aspirations in life. I enjoyed expressing my creativity in the classroom, discussing profound literary themes with my students, and checking off my responsibilities on each day's challenging to-do list.

But it's not about me anymore.

Her years in the feminism-infested current had given her glamorous dreams of personal glory.

Years later, Diana, who now has five children, admits, 'I was in mild rebellion against God. And I stayed there for a while, until I saw those wants for what they really are -- the display of my idolatrous, selfish, sinful pride. It was only when I took those deep personal longings and put them on the alter of consecration to God that I began to make spiritual headway.'

Meditations on her Savior burned away her rebellion and brought peace to her soul. In the garden of Gethsemane, the Lord Jesus looked into the appalling cup of self-sacrifice that His Father had poured for Him. He staggered at the thought of drinking it down to its last painful dregs. Instead of resentfully protesting, 'What am I, chopped liver?' He submitted saying, 'Father, if Thou art willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Thine be done' (Luke 22:42).

It's my understanding that every biblically committed wife and mother must pass through a personal Gethsemane of sorts, needing to come to grips with the cup her Father has poured for her.

Think dear sister, how the Lord Jesus selflessly served you. He laid down His life to make you look good. He laid it down on crucifixion day, so that you'd look good on judgment day. He was spat upon, beaten, scourged, mocked, stripped, spiked, hung, and forsaken. Then He breathed His last so that you wouldn't have to forever weep, wail, and gnash your teeth in hell. He was born, lived, and died with the sole object that you would look good forever. Could it be that this wifehood and motherhood thing is calling you to higher ground, conforming you more to His glorious image?

Wow! Thank you Mark Chanski for that kick in the butt back to reality. Life is not about me. It never was meant to be about me, and I need to live each day for Jesus, regardless of life's season, in a way that brings honor, glory and thanksgiving to Jesus.

If you're looking for a good, but challenging read (meaning that it may challenge a lot of what you believe, but always bring the arguments and challenges back to scripture), pick up Womanly Dominion.

Mary, a Woman Used by God

As I reflect on Christmas, I think it's interesting to go back and look at Mary, an ordinary woman who God used to do extraordinary things!

Chapter 4: A Portrait of a Woman Used By God in Biblical Womanhood in the Home discusses this well. Enjoy!

True Woman | True Woman Videos: "We're all feminists"

I stumbled across this video today and think it's a great perspective on feminism. Enjoy!
True Woman | True Woman Videos: "We're all feminists"

Body Image

Do any of you receive the Proverbs 31 Ministries' Encouragement for Today emails? Well, my mom does and she shared this one with me on Friday. I think it hits home for most of us, regardless of our age or how many kids (or not) we've had, and it's is a fantastic reminder that we are God's daughters. God created every inch of our bodies and He thinks we're beautiful.

There's obviously a certain level of care we need to take with our bodies because they're not our own, they're a temple for the Holy Spirit, but when we become obsessive and elevate body image over God and make it our idol, we're truly missing the mark.

Jesus extends grace upon grace to us and has already freed us from that bondage on the cross. So, we just need to accept that grace and pursue Jesus with our lives and allow Him to be our measure of beauty and not our own expectations or those that we perceive from the world.

Here's the Body Image email from Proverbs 31 Ministries, written by T. Suzanne Eller. Thought you ladies would enjoy it:

"Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now." 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)

I walked by the mirror in the department store. I stopped, backed up, and took a second look. Was that really me? I was nearly nine months pregnant with twins and looked like Mrs. Potato Head. My arms and legs stuck out of a huge protruding stomach. My belly button looked like a cork ready to pop!

A few days later Ryan and Melissa arrived. I loved my babies! But as the months passed, I didn't love my body with all its stretch marks and a baby bump that remained no matter how hard I tried to get rid of them.

Flash forward twenty-five years. Melissa loves to serve as Mom's fashionista, and tries to keep me up with the times. One day she and I were shopping for a pair of jeans and she'd picked out a couple of things she wanted me to try on. She knocked on the door of the dressing room. "Let me in, Mom."

I cracked open the door. "I'll be out in a minute, hon."

She frowned. Later she confronted me. "Mom, you were hiding your stomach, weren't you? I don't get it. You just need to get over it."

How many times have I met a truly beautiful woman and complemented her, only to hear her say, "Well, thank you, but I need to lose five pounds," or "I'm having a crazy hair day," or "Did you see that woman over there, now she's beautiful." What I saw was a smile that was warm and welcoming, or beautiful hazel eyes that were filled with compassion, or a woman who was frugal and fabulous. My complements were sincere, but fell flat as she f ocused on her flaws instead.
My conversation with Melissa that day reminded me that I was doing the same thing. Worse, I was modeling this behavior in front of my daughter.

The truth is that I'm healthy. I have given birth to three beautiful children. And more importantly, I'm God's girl. I'm beautifully made in His image. That's a fact etched on my heart and my mind.

Now if only someone would remind my mouth.

In Bible times ancient mirrors were polished metal, easily tarnished, and the reflection was hard to see. If a woman had a flaw, she had to rely on her friends or sisters to give her a head's up.
But today we can scope out our features in detail with three-way mirrors or a 5x-, 10x-, or even 15x magnified mirror where every pore and every flaw is magnified! Too often, those mirrors are reminders of the cultural message of what beauty is - or is not.

But what would happen if we focused on the mirror Paul is talking about in 1 Corinthians 13:12 instead? The more we get to know God, the clearer things become. We stop checking out our own image and discover more about Him. That helps us see the bigger picture—5X-, 10X-, and maybe even 15X magnified!

And there's a bonus. The more we get to know Him, the more others see us through His reflection.

Now, that's real beauty.

Dear God, I am made in Your image. I matter to You. Make me wise. Let me be grateful for physical healthy. Will You join me as I pursue joy, wisdom, peace, and selflessness? I want to look like You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Defined By God, Not Culture

The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood posted a neat article on their blog yesterday as they looked back over the Time stories that came out last month on the state of women today. The blog post is an encouraging reminder that we need to define ourselves according to Jesus and not culture.

Have a read: http://www.cbmw.org/Blog/Posts/More-on-the-State-of-the-American-Woman.

Godly Women on Mission

A few weeks ago at the women's ministry meeting at church a woman brought up a fabulous question about pursuing godly womanhood in regards to missionality. She asked if it was appropriate that once we begin to understand what God's call is for us as women, that we begin to live it out in a way that affects women who don't know Jesus yet -- use what we know to help other women love their families well, respect their husbands, and bring up their children in the ways of the Lord. And yes, that couldn't be more appropriate! This does, however, seem like a daunting task because it seems like it would take so long just to communicate Jesus to the woman (at least that's how I feel at times), and it would take even longer to influence her in such a way that she wants to shape her life around Jesus and build her family on Jesus. But what am I thinking, Jesus is in control ... all we have to do is TRUST him. He's the one with the power to do all things, so why shouldn't we be pursuing other women in this way so that they not only come to know Jesus themselves, but introduce their family to him as well!

I began thinking about this again after studying Mark 6:30-44. (Yes, I know this passage is about feeding the five thousand, but hang with me.) The verse that really did it for me was verse 37:

But he answered, "You give them something to eat."
They said to him, "That would take eight months of a man's wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?"

Here, we see that when Jesus presented a need to the disciples (feed five thousand people), they automatically thought that Jesus wanted them to take care of the situation in their own strength. Most of the time, this would be my reaction too. If we go back to my initial point about loving other women well who don't know Jesus, I would naturally think, "Ok Lord, I see that you want me to build a relationship with __________. But wow, that's going to take a lot of time and maybe money to invest in her. I don't know if I have that to give, but I'll see what I can do." Hmm, sounds similar to the disciples response, huh?

But as the passage continues, we see that Jesus instructs them, graciously and compassionately, on how to take care of the need. He doesn't require them to spend the eight-months wage (money they don't have) or even buy the food needed to feed the people. He doesn't even say, "Of course not, I'll take care of it." Rather, he simply instructs them on how to go about taking care of the need (Mark 6: 38-44).

This particularly struck me because our financial situation has changed dramatically in the past year since I chose to follow God's call for me and stay at home with my son full time, causing us to "lose" an income, and then even more so since my husband followed God's lead and changed jobs. (I'm not complaining, but I'm just being honest about where we are. In fact, I know with certainty that the Lord is using this time to challenge me and my false securities so that I begin to give everything to Him!) But after reading this passage, my response to live missionality or even generously with other women around me shouldn't be based on money at all. Jesus is very clear about that in this passage. He's basically saying, "It's not about what you can give at all. It's about trusting in ME to fulfill that need. My spirit lives within you and enables you to do the work that only I can do (1 Corinthians 12:4-7). Just trust me and believe!" If that need requires money, God will provide. If it requires time, God will help us re-prioritize our day to give more time. Etc.

Of course the Bible is also very clear that everything belongs to Jesus anyway (Psalm 24:1, Psalm 50:12, Haggai 2:8) -- our time, our money, our possessions ... everything! So when we think about giving those things, they aren't really ours to give anyway. We're only stewards of those things -- be it a lot of money or a little -- and we should give it back to the Lord willingly in response to the grace he's shown us. I believe this is a different conversation, but one that requires us to place our trust in Jesus as well. If we trust Jesus with our whole lives, our only response should be, "It's all yours Jesus, do with it as you want. Thanks for using me in the process!"

And when it all boils down, regardless of our financial situation or schedule, we should be able to say that Jesus is enough ... period, and allow that truth alone to compel us to change our cities for Him, regardless of the cost!

If you want to explore stewardship a bit more, Deuteronomy 8:17-18 and 1 Corinthians 4:7 are good places to start.

God's Best for Single Women

Are you a single woman who is looking for sound theology on what your current life season should look like as you pursue the Lord and His plans for you? I'm in the process of digging into some resources and learning more about godly singleness (whether that's a place of longing to marry one day or if it's God's life call) to help strengthen that area of Mark of Beauty, and I stumbled across Boundless Webzine. It's a resource from Focus on the Family and it looks like the creator, Candace Watters (and her husband), collaborates with many of the women whom I look to for sound resources on godly womanhood, so this looks to be a solid find. As I was scrolling through the list of topics that this webzine covers, I found a nice handful of articles on singleness. To dive in, follow the link and scroll down to recent articles. I haven't read them all yet, but just by browsing through some of them and the titles and descriptions of others, it looks like there's some good stuff here.

For instance, here's a great point that Suzanne Hadley makes in her article, Vessel of Honor:

So how can we adopt a balanced view of God's intention for marriage and singleness?

First we must realize that God's will for people isn't dependent on marital status. Both faithful marriage and chaste singleness proclaim God. Marriage is an earthly reflection of the union with Christ and other believers awaiting us in heaven. Celibate singleness declares that ultimate union by forgoing sexual union on earth for a season — or, in special cases, for a lifetime.

Ephesians 5:25-27 says:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

By loving their spouses devotedly, married men and women demonstrate on a small scale Christ's love for the church. And by keeping themselves pure, singles express the significance of Christ's coming union with His church (a moment fraught with such greatness that the trials of denying the flesh in this life pale in comparison). In both states — singleness and marriage — a believer reflects Christ through a lifestyle of self-giving.

At this time, I do that by serving the people God has placed in my life — friends, the kids in my Sunday school class, my housemate. In the future, I may fulfill this calling by serving a husband and children. Now I minister as an individual; in the future, I may minister through a family unit. In both states, my life testifies to God's miraculous plan as I pour it out for His use.

I think this is right on and worth exploring more deeply. If you have the time to read any of this stuff -- more from Suzanne Hadley or from other authors featured in this section in the Boundless Webzine -- I would challenge you to go for it. Feel free to leave a comment and let us know how the reading goes.

The 5:00 Club

Well, I can't say that I'm really in the 5 AM club ... it's actually more like the 6:30 AM club at my house, but either way, here's the jist.

A month or so ago I wrote about my need to get up early, have my quiet time and spend time with the Lord to prepare myself for the day, so that I am on top of my game and in a place where I can put the Lord before me on all my days' decisions, plans, thoughts, emotions, etc. I can't say that I am very successful at giving the Lord all of my decisions, plans, thoughts, emotions, etc. yet ... that probably won't come in this life, but at least I'm starting down that road. For me, this starts at 6:30 AM.

I've been setting my alarm for 6:30 the past few weeks and so far it's working out fairly well. I may hit the snooze a time or two, but for the most part, I've been able to get up, get my coffee, make my husband his lunch and dive into scripture. I may only have 15 or 30 minutes, depending on the internal alarm of my 15-month-old, but it's enough time right now to lay my day at Jesus' feet and ask Him to equip me with what I need for the day -- patience, gentleness, a gracious spirit like Jesus, the ability to love my family well, the ability to manage my time well so that I can be effective for the gospel, etc.

So far, I can see a huge difference in the way my days play out. I obviously have to continue to pray throughout the day or my efforts just become self-centered again -- which happens all too often -- but I'm at least able to start off well and ask Jesus to give me his perspective for the day.

You may be wondering why the tile of this post is call "The 5:00 Club"? Well, I didn't actually know about this until yesterday, but it's a club that the Mahaney ladies of girltalk formed back in 2006 to hold each other accountable to wake up early and prepare themselves for the day. Nicole Whitacre, one of the Mahaney ladies explains it this way: "I want to stress that this will look different for everyone! The point is not that really godly women get up at 5:00 a.m.! Nowhere in the Bible will you find such a principle. The point is that there are great benefits to rising early—both for your spiritual life and the good of your family. And there are Scriptures that encourage this practice (Psalm 5:3, Prov. 31:15, Mark 1:35). But “early” will look different for every woman reading this post!" So, if the Lord is tugging on your heart, like He did mine, to encourage you to rise early and spend time with the Lord, I would encourage you to read more about The 5:00 Club and take the challenge. As I'm finding, it's revolutionizing my days for the Lord, and I think it will do the same for you.

If you decide to give it a try, feel free to post your comments about how it's going for you under this post or on our Facebook page. I think it would be really encouraging for all of us to see how the Lord is working in our lives and how He's changing us to be more like Jesus.

Movement Toward Women's Ministry

We had our first meeting in a long time toward building a women's ministry at Vintage21 Church yesterday. (There have been many attempts to get this kind of thing running over the course of our history ... 7 years to be exact ... but nothing ever quite stuck and things slowly fizzled out.) So, needless to say, I was a little wary going into this meeting, but it turned out to be excellent!

I feel that in many cases, women's minsitry in general seems to be very pragmatic and program-driven and is not interwoven into the DNA of a church and it's mission. It tends to be a ministry that wants to empower and build it's women, but not propel them toward the gospel in everything it does and build the kingdom. Not that I have a whole lot of experience with women's ministry, so I could be wrong, but that's my overall impression.

The beautiful reality that came out of yesterday's meeting is that our elders stated the importance and absolute need for this ministry to be gospel-centered in all it does, and not just be a sin-management program. And so the elders are going to begin building this ministry at the root level by identifying the fruit that the Bible says a biblical woman should possess and move backward to develop systems and structures to make that happen -- one that leads to mission ... pointing women toward the truth of the gospel at all times and equipping them to go out and love other women well so that those women, who may or may not know Jesus, have an opportunity to see Him more clearly. How beautiful! I'm siked to be a part of this process!

Join me in praying for this ministry and that God would bring the right people to begin laboring for it and leading it!

In relation to this, I was reading over some stuff about missionality this morning. If you're not familiar with the term missionality, or missional living, it basically means that we should adapt and reformulate the way we [the church and it's people] do absolutely everything in worship, discipleship, community, and service -- so as to engage with the Non-Christian society around us. (This is very relevant to us as women because we have the beautiful opportunity to share with women who don't know Jesus, or who do for that matter, the beautiful design and purpose that He has for them that is contrary to the feminist ideology that is so present in today's society. We have the opportunity to adapt the way we live, to live and breathe scripture, but to be relevant within our culture so that we can take Jesus to the women around us gently, lovingly, authentically, and humbly.) Pastor Tim Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York has a great paper on this (not necessary directed toward women in general, but it definitely applies). If you're interested in learning more, I would encourage you to check it out!

Dealing with Sin ... What Fun!

Sin is not something that I like to talk about or much less think about a whole lot. As a follower of Jesus, I obviously believe that I am sinner because Jesus says that I am in His Word and that's ultimately the reason why God sent him to earth, bottled up his godliness into human form to live the life that I couldn't live, died on the cross to pay for the sin that I couldn't pay for and rose again to give my blemished self new and eternal life. I know that I am sinner. But somehow, I live my life as if it's not always a big deal. Society doesn't emphasize it, why should I? (Eww ... so wrong!)

Not that I would outwardly communicate that my goal in life is to sin and gratify my fleshly desires as oppose to glorify the Lord ... but when I look at my behavior and my words and my thought life, I can't believe how easily I fool myself. My own mind is numb to the sinfulness of my heart and many times I can't even identify the sin in my life, much less verbally confess it and repent of it and plead with the Lord to help me not do it again. How terrible! If I'm a believer and spend time in the Word, shouldn't this be a natural out pour of my life? Maybe it's not so natural ... maybe it's something I really have to learn, become disciplined at and grow in. But if my heart was originally created in the image of God, there is hope for me, but it's going to take a lot of sin whittling to get there!

Somehow, the Lord has broken through the numbness of my mind in the last few weeks and has begun to point out the areas of my brokenness and how desperately I need the Holy Spirit to intervene! It's amazing how He can use marriage to reveal this truth in our lives! How great and how frustrating at the same time!

As I was really trying to address some of this stuff this morning, I stumbled across a fantastic sermon transcript from a pastor by the name of John MacArthur, Jr. of Grace Community Church in Panorama City, California. The sermon focuses on dealing with habitual sin. Now I'm always a bit weary to utilize and refer to resources that I am not familiar with, but after reading through this sermon transcript and referencing the scripture behind it, I feel that it is totally legit and worth studying. Funny thing, I have been a believer for about 20 years and I have never come across a better explanation of how to deal with my sin than this. I want to share some of the highlights of the sermon below and then I'd encourage you to check it out for yourself. It's definitely worth your time!

MacArthur focuses his sermon around Hebrews 12:1 by saying, "... let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." He uses this to simply express that as a fallen people, who are separated from God, sin is a part of who we are (Jeremiah 13:23), that our hearts our deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), and that sin does not remain separate but it mingles in all of our motives and actions (Romans 7), regardless of how hard we try to separate our goodness and our sin.

This thought is not new to me at all, in fact that's what brought me to this place, but the question that I have and that MacArthur answers so well is, "How do we 'lay aside the sin that so easily entangles us'?" We see in 2 Corinthians 7:1, Ephesians 4:22, Romans 6:12 and 1 Peter 2:1 & 11 that we're commanded to do this. Sadly, I find myself wrestling with the same sin over and over. It may present itself in different situations, but when I look at the root of it, it's all the same, and I can't seem to move past it.

Now, I'm not saying that I never confess my sin and seek forgiveness ... that's not true at all, but as MacArthur communicates so well, my confession tends to be more periodic, prior to communion or when I'm seriously convicted rather than ongoing. And when this is the case, MacArthur says that we tend to walk away from those events with very little change in the pattern of our sinning. He says that we want to confess our sins and that we have the confidence that He is faithful and just to forgive, which is true of me, but that we don't take the steps toward a decreased load of sin -- where our list of sins becomes shorter and shorter because we're dealing with it on an ongoing basis. (Not that we ever stop sinning completely, but we're moving toward healthy, progressive sanctification.)

Here are the 8 steps that MacArthur identifies as ways to begin "laying aside our sin" or in reality, leaving it at the foot of the cross and pleading with Jesus to help us not do it again!

1. Don't underestimate the seriousness of sin. When I first read this, I thought to myself, "Oh, I know that my sin is a serious offense toward God," and began to read on. But darn it, if I really knew how serious the offense was, my life would look a lot different. I would try a lot harder NOT to sin! My heart would be so changed that the out pour of that change into my actions, words and thoughts would be very different. I think this is the same idea as knowing the Gospel. On the surface, we know it well, but when we look to see if it permeates every area of our life as a response to Christ's gift of grace to us, we quickly realize that we know a whole lot less about the Gospel than we think we do. It's time to hit the books (scripture, really) and get down on my knees.
   
   
2. Strongly purpose and promise God not to sin. Now at first, I was a little suspicious of this call. "How am I suppose to promise God that I won't sin again if I know that I am a sinner and cannot live a perfect life?" But MacArthur uses strong commands from scripture to support his point. Not that we won't sin again, but if progressive sanctification is our goal, and scripture says it should be (Romans 6:1-23), we need to seek forgiveness from sin and move forward aiming not to do it again. Psalm 119:106 -- "I have sworn, and I will confirm it, that I will keep Thy righteous ordinances." Psalm 119:32 -- "I shall run the way of Thy commandments, for Thou will enlarge my heart." Hmm, looks like Psalm 119 is just bursting with support and directives!
   
   In addition, verse 32 brings up a great point about endurance. I typically think of my faith as a growing test of endurance, not necessary my heart's capacity to strive toward righteousness. MacArthur says that this verse communicates the endurance that we need for our heart to push forward, to exceed limitations, or to enlarge. And when I think about this, it makes perfect sense ... God created my heart in His image, therefore my heart has the capacity for perfect obedience, without the existence of sin. I'm not going to get there while I'm on earth, but that doesn't mean that I can't be in training for that day and continually strive to strengthen my heart and it's capacity grow and change for good.
   
   
3. Be suspicious of your own spirituality. MacArthur references Job 31:1 and Proverbs 4:23 here. The verse from Proverbs particularly strikes a chord with me: "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." Gracious, why am I not more careful of the things that I allow in my heart? MacArthur says that we need to "understand that except for the grace of God we would fall into any and every sin and we would be deceived so easily." Praise the Lord His gift of GRACE!
   
   
4. Resist the first risings of the flesh and its pleasures. MacArthur's biggest point here is to stop sin at it's conception not at it's birth. This will root out a great deal of sin and it's ability to penetrate into all areas of our life. MacArthur then reminds us that if we find ourselves sacrificing for ourselves and seeking pleasures that we desire, instead of what the Lord desires for us, we've already given in. This is huge ... I've got to stop and think ... it's not about me and what I want, it's about Jesus and what pleases him!
   
   
5. Meditate on the Word. MacArthur brings Psalm 37:31 to mind here: "The law of his God is in His heart; his steps do not slip." When a heart is controlled by the Word the steps don't slip. Hmm, I remember referencing this idea a few weeks ago in my post on Atheistic Enterprising. This again reminds me that if we're surrounded and immersed in God's Word, that's the stream that will out pour from our souls. If we're immersed in other things -- materialism, selfishness, fame, pride, etc. -- those things will take the place of godliness in our lives.
   
   MacArthur goes on to say that "It is the constant input of God's Word that begins to fill up the mind and control the thinking, and that alone becomes the strength and resource in us that can resist the initial impulses of the flesh." Psalm 119:9 & 10 and Colossians 3:16 are three great verses here.
   
   
6. Be immediately repentant over your lapses. Here's a big one for me: MacArthur notes that repentance is not just saying, "I'm sorry, Lord, forgive me," but rather, "I'm sorry, Lord, forgive me, and I don't want to do it again." We can't fool God about the genuineness of our hearts. Yikes! This is a tough one for me ... I feel like I earnestly come to the Lord seeking repentance but many times, I sinfully want to hold on to my sin because I like doing it. How awful is that! All that shows is that I'm deeply rooted in my sin and that I'd prefer my way [the sin] than God's way. But in reality, my way only leads to death and there is no life or hope in that! I simply need to realize that my longing for my way, which is sin, is just a false reality. Again, I was made in the image of God, God is not sinful but completely righteous, and I am lying to myself if I say that my heart longs to sin. That's the sin in me that's distorting God's true reality for me.
   
   MacArthur recommends that we name the sin that we're confessing and the related behavior to help keep our heart and ears accountable. If we hold back from naming the sin, we're essentially saying that we want to do it again and that's hypocritical before God! Yikes!
   
   
7. Continually pray for divine help. Colossians 4:2 is a beautiful reminder here: "Watch and pray for you know not when you are going to enter the hour of temptation." MacArthur recommends praying anticipatory prayer. "Lead me not into temptation today, and pray before the flesh begins to rise and entice."
   
   
8. Establish relationships with other believers to hold you accountable. Now this point is a good plug for accountability. For married folks, we know that marriage is really a litmus test for our sin ... there's not much that can slip by our spouses, but for the stuff that does, it's a good reminder to bring it up and be open and honest. Single and married folks alike, it is equally important to have friends that surround us that are going to hold us accountable to living the life that God calls us to. A staff member at Vintage21 Church, Lachlan Payne, just gave a great talk on this topic, and if you're interested in learning more about healthy, biblical accountability, take some time to listen. The important point he makes here, which is contrary to a lot of teaching on accountability, is that confession and prayer are not the only components, but it's 4 thronged: Intentionality, Confession, Prayer and Healing. Healing being the big kicker ... if you have confession and prayer without healing, it's not really worth the time.

* ADDENDUM: After reading through this post again, let me clarify that dealing with sin is not about US rooting out the 'evil' in our life ... but taking steps to actively pursue Jesus, seeking only his righteousness. If the former was communicated, that was not my intention. Rooting out the sin in our life is part of the process, but not on our own strength. It's really about trusting in Jesus' GRACE as we move forward -- seeking forgiveness and embracing the grace that he's already bestowed on us and not relying on our own strength or will. It obviously takes action to move toward progressive sanctification, not just idleness, but we have to keep our eyes focused on Jesus and dependent on Jesus the whole time or we're just focusing on our own ability not the Lord's to redeem us. (My husband was reminded of a relevant quote from C.S. Lewis on this matter and when he finds it, I'll post it in the comment section.)

Sanctification in Marriage // A Great Talk

My husband and I are currently listening to a great sermon on the sanctification in marriage by Matt Chandler of The Village Church in Dallas, TX ... yes, a very hot and exciting Friday night :) (It is actually.) But as we listen to this ... it's based on 1 Peter 3, a chapter of scripture that we've visited a lot on Mark of Beauty, and man does he hit it on the mark!

If you're married or not, this is well worth your time! Enjoy: http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/200910251115HWC21ASAAA_MattChandler_ThePathPt07-SanctificationInMarriage.mp3

Revisiting Mary & Martha ...

I was browsing through my blogroll this evening and I noticed that girltalk just published a post called 'A Martha Moment,' and I quickly thought back to my post a few weeks ago about Atheistic Enterprising. I was encouraged to read that I'm not alone in this issue and that there's hope to rise out of a mere Martha-like serving mentality and into a Mary-like devotion to Jesus.

If you're interested in this, I would encourage you to follow girltalk this week. I'm sure that Carolyn Mahaney has a wealth of information to share.

Teaching Good Theology to Our Kids

I just started reading a fantastic book, Big Truths for Young Hearts, by Bruce Ware. (Yes, I do have a couple books going at the same time right now, but it keeps things interesting.) I'm only about a fourth of the way into it, but so far it's great and I don't see how that will change.
Ware is a pastor and father of 3 and has a long history of explaining theology in a way that kids and adults can understand. The preface, which was written by his two daughters, explains how this book really morphed out of the bedtime stories that he told his kids as they were growing up. Can you imagine having your dad use theology to put you to sleep? Well, maybe that makes perfect sense (on face value, it's not so exciting ... but when you get down into it, it blows me a way!). What a cool practice though; to know biblical theology so well that you can piece it down and jazz it up so that your kids are at the edge of their beds yearning for more ... and then their little heads are filled with beautiful truth as they dream! This book is really a gem ... the the way that Ware articulates concepts and relates them to tangible things that we as parents can learn to articulate ourselves and make them tangible for our kids is wonderful! It'll probably be a while until I start having these conversations with my 14-month-old, but I'm anxious to finish the book and to continue processing this information so that when the day comes, when it's appropriate to dive in; I'm ready! But in the mean time, I think it gives me better perspective on theology and is equipping me with a better understanding and to be able to share it with others.

So ... next time you get an extra $10.87 in your cookie jar, pick up this great tool and enjoy a good read that will last your kids a lifetime and beyond! (Price is specked according to Amazon.)

A Mother's Job Description

I had the chance to read a page and a half of Womanly Dominion this morning, pretty good for a Saturday, and I'm encouraged by the words that I read that remind me of my job description as a mom.

Homemaking motherhood is no refuge for the inept woman who can't cut it in the real world. Rather, stay-at-home mothering is the ultimate profession for the elite of her gender.

Her skill set must be highly diversified. She's no mere babysitting caretaker. She realizes she's raising thoroughbreds for the kingdom, and so she studies and reads and prepares meals with the inspiration of a dietitian and a nutritionist. Her health care duties summon her often to rise to the level of nurse or physician. Domestic engineer is a suitable title for her who exercises dominion over her household headquarters by subduing swarming details into workable order. She is an economist in keeping the budget, holding the purse strings as the accountant, and acting as the purchasing agent for the family corporation, averting bankruptcy and maintaining solvency. She's a psychologist in analyzing the peculiarities of each temperament, tracing the development of each child, and bringing the apt word as a counselor in every situation. She's a personal trainer and disciplinarian as she cultivates obedience and self-control in her natively wild herd. She's a teacher and professor in instructing her students in reading, spelling, grammar, mathematics, history, science, and art. This is exceptionally and overwhelmingly true of a homeschooling mother. She's a pastor and theologian as she educates her children in the lofty themes of morality, spirituality, and eternity.

 Wow, what a job we mothers are called to! I don't think there's any job in the workforce that would call us to wear this many hats ... but while at the same time has such a high calling -- "raising thoroughbreds for the kingdom." What an amazing blessing!

Chanski continues by saying:

A mother is handling things of a far greater magnitude. She's handling never-dying souls. She's daily conducting heart surgery on eternal spirits whose forever destinies are influenced most profoundly by the hands that rock their cradles, wipe their noses, spank their fannies, open their Bibles, prepare their after-school snacks, and turn off their bedroom lights. Those motherly hands are molding characters which will become men and women who will turn the world upside down either for good or for evil. Now that's a job that counts.