"Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now." 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)
I walked by the mirror in the department store. I stopped, backed up, and took a second look. Was that really me? I was nearly nine months pregnant with twins and looked like Mrs. Potato Head. My arms and legs stuck out of a huge protruding stomach. My belly button looked like a cork ready to pop!
A few days later Ryan and Melissa arrived. I loved my babies! But as the months passed, I didn't love my body with all its stretch marks and a baby bump that remained no matter how hard I tried to get rid of them.
Flash forward twenty-five years. Melissa loves to serve as Mom's fashionista, and tries to keep me up with the times. One day she and I were shopping for a pair of jeans and she'd picked out a couple of things she wanted me to try on. She knocked on the door of the dressing room. "Let me in, Mom."
I cracked open the door. "I'll be out in a minute, hon."
She frowned. Later she confronted me. "Mom, you were hiding your stomach, weren't you? I don't get it. You just need to get over it."
How many times have I met a truly beautiful woman and complemented her, only to hear her say, "Well, thank you, but I need to lose five pounds," or "I'm having a crazy hair day," or "Did you see that woman over there, now she's beautiful." What I saw was a smile that was warm and welcoming, or beautiful hazel eyes that were filled with compassion, or a woman who was frugal and fabulous. My complements were sincere, but fell flat as she f ocused on her flaws instead.
My conversation with Melissa that day reminded me that I was doing the same thing. Worse, I was modeling this behavior in front of my daughter.
The truth is that I'm healthy. I have given birth to three beautiful children. And more importantly, I'm God's girl. I'm beautifully made in His image. That's a fact etched on my heart and my mind.
Now if only someone would remind my mouth.
In Bible times ancient mirrors were polished metal, easily tarnished, and the reflection was hard to see. If a woman had a flaw, she had to rely on her friends or sisters to give her a head's up.
But today we can scope out our features in detail with three-way mirrors or a 5x-, 10x-, or even 15x magnified mirror where every pore and every flaw is magnified! Too often, those mirrors are reminders of the cultural message of what beauty is - or is not.
But what would happen if we focused on the mirror Paul is talking about in 1 Corinthians 13:12 instead? The more we get to know God, the clearer things become. We stop checking out our own image and discover more about Him. That helps us see the bigger picture—5X-, 10X-, and maybe even 15X magnified!
And there's a bonus. The more we get to know Him, the more others see us through His reflection.
Now, that's real beauty.
Dear God, I am made in Your image. I matter to You. Make me wise. Let me be grateful for physical healthy. Will You join me as I pursue joy, wisdom, peace, and selflessness? I want to look like You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
But he answered, "You give them something to eat."Here, we see that when Jesus presented a need to the disciples (feed five thousand people), they automatically thought that Jesus wanted them to take care of the situation in their own strength. Most of the time, this would be my reaction too. If we go back to my initial point about loving other women well who don't know Jesus, I would naturally think, "Ok Lord, I see that you want me to build a relationship with __________. But wow, that's going to take a lot of time and maybe money to invest in her. I don't know if I have that to give, but I'll see what I can do." Hmm, sounds similar to the disciples response, huh?
They said to him, "That would take eight months of a man's wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?"
So how can we adopt a balanced view of God's intention for marriage and singleness?I think this is right on and worth exploring more deeply. If you have the time to read any of this stuff -- more from Suzanne Hadley or from other authors featured in this section in the Boundless Webzine -- I would challenge you to go for it. Feel free to leave a comment and let us know how the reading goes.First we must realize that God's will for people isn't dependent on marital status. Both faithful marriage and chaste singleness proclaim God. Marriage is an earthly reflection of the union with Christ and other believers awaiting us in heaven. Celibate singleness declares that ultimate union by forgoing sexual union on earth for a season — or, in special cases, for a lifetime.
Ephesians 5:25-27 says:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
By loving their spouses devotedly, married men and women demonstrate on a small scale Christ's love for the church. And by keeping themselves pure, singles express the significance of Christ's coming union with His church (a moment fraught with such greatness that the trials of denying the flesh in this life pale in comparison). In both states — singleness and marriage — a believer reflects Christ through a lifestyle of self-giving.
At this time, I do that by serving the people God has placed in my life — friends, the kids in my Sunday school class, my housemate. In the future, I may fulfill this calling by serving a husband and children. Now I minister as an individual; in the future, I may minister through a family unit. In both states, my life testifies to God's miraculous plan as I pour it out for His use.
tand. The preface, which was written by his two daughters, explains how this book really morphed out of the bedtime stories that he told his kids as they were growing up. Can you imagine having your dad use theology to put you to sleep? Well, maybe that makes perfect sense (on face value, it's not so exciting ... but when you get down into it, it blows me a way!). What a cool practice though; to know biblical theology so well that you can piece it down and jazz it up so that your kids are at the edge of their beds yearning for more ... and then their little heads are filled with beautiful truth as they dream! This book is really a gem ... the the way that Ware articulates concepts and relates them to tangible things that we as parents can learn to articulate ourselves and make them tangible for our kids is wonderful! It'll probably be a while until I start having these conversations with my 14-month-old, but I'm anxious to finish the book and to continue processing this information so that when the day comes, when it's appropriate to dive in; I'm ready! But in the mean time, I think it gives me better perspective on theology and is equipping me with a better understanding and to be able to share it with others.Homemaking motherhood is no refuge for the inept woman who can't cut it in the real world. Rather, stay-at-home mothering is the ultimate profession for the elite of her gender.Wow, what a job we mothers are called to! I don't think there's any job in the workforce that would call us to wear this many hats ... but while at the same time has such a high calling -- "raising thoroughbreds for the kingdom." What an amazing blessing!
Her skill set must be highly diversified. She's no mere babysitting caretaker. She realizes she's raising thoroughbreds for the kingdom, and so she studies and reads and prepares meals with the inspiration of a dietitian and a nutritionist. Her health care duties summon her often to rise to the level of nurse or physician. Domestic engineer is a suitable title for her who exercises dominion over her household headquarters by subduing swarming details into workable order. She is an economist in keeping the budget, holding the purse strings as the accountant, and acting as the purchasing agent for the family corporation, averting bankruptcy and maintaining solvency. She's a psychologist in analyzing the peculiarities of each temperament, tracing the development of each child, and bringing the apt word as a counselor in every situation. She's a personal trainer and disciplinarian as she cultivates obedience and self-control in her natively wild herd. She's a teacher and professor in instructing her students in reading, spelling, grammar, mathematics, history, science, and art. This is exceptionally and overwhelmingly true of a homeschooling mother. She's a pastor and theologian as she educates her children in the lofty themes of morality, spirituality, and eternity.
A mother is handling things of a far greater magnitude. She's handling never-dying souls. She's daily conducting heart surgery on eternal spirits whose forever destinies are influenced most profoundly by the hands that rock their cradles, wipe their noses, spank their fannies, open their Bibles, prepare their after-school snacks, and turn off their bedroom lights. Those motherly hands are molding characters which will become men and women who will turn the world upside down either for good or for evil. Now that's a job that counts.
I am the Lord, and there is no other besides me; I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all of these things.So ... needless to say, I can pursue wise options to help heal my son's pain, but unless the Lord wills it, it won't happen. However, the point here that I don't understand is this: If I choose not to give my son medication for his pain and I just bring it to the Lord, would I just wait on the Lord to direct me to the right remedy or wait for His sovereign healing? I have a difficult time getting my human mind to comprehend this ... Does anyone have any insight here?
Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.' Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.' But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.At first glance, I wasn't too sure how this lined up with my lack of committing my day to the Lord, but as I dove into David Guzek's commentary, I quickly understood. He makes three important points:
The education of our faith is incomplete if we have yet to learn that God's providence works through loss, that there is a ministry to us through failure and the fading of things, and that He gives the gift of emptiness. It is, in fact, the material insecurities of life that cause our lives to be spiritually established.It is yet again that we must step out in faith. I wish that I did this with the "everydays" of my life, even though these type of decisions have come in bulk lately and seem to be more of our "everydays." I share this simply to encourage you ladies that when God asks us to step out in faith and to "endure" what seems to be a difficult time in our life, that it's God's provision and God's security that will ALWAYS be there for us -- not our own wisdom, strength or material possessions. God calls us to rely on Him with everything that we are. The more that we're able to submit to His authority in our lives, regardless of the situation, we're going to find ourselves in a much better place -- the place where God has planned for us. The place where He promises to provide for us and make us prosper, regardless if that translates to our earthly understanding of it or not -- usually it doesn't.
The dwindling brook at the Kerith Ravine, where Elijah sat deep in thought, is a true picture of each of our lives. 'Some time later the brook dried up' -- this is the history of our yesterdays, and a prophecy of our tomorrows.
One way or the other, we must all learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver. The gift may last for a season, but the Giver is the only eternal love.
The Kerith Ravine was a difficult problem for Elijah until he arrived at Zarephath, and suddenly everything became clear as daylight to him. God's hard instructions are never His last words to us, for the woe, the waste, and the tears of life belong to its interlude, not its finale.
If the Lord had led Elijah directly to Zarephath, he would have missed something that helped to make him a wiser prophet and a better man -- living by faith at Kerith. And whenever our earthly stream or any other outer resource has dried up, it has been allowed so we may learn that our hope and help are in God, who made heaven and earth. F.B. Meyer
Panic attacks are a common affliction in stressful times. Sarah is a heroine worthy of imitation, for instead of fretting and surrendering, she managed to 'hope in God' and 'do what is right without being frightened by fear.'
We're introduced to Sarah immediately after God called her husband to uproot and move from the familiar hometown surroundings of Ur, across the howling Abrabian Desert, to set up house in the alien land of Canaan (Genesis 12:5). She subdued any fears she may have faced, and courageously went, humbly acquiescing to her husband's conscience convictions.What a beautiful example of trusting the Lord in tough situations!
It's not time to fixate on a husband's duties, but on a wife's. The Serpent points fingers at others, blaming them. The Savior presses us each with our own personal responsibility. "Peter therefore seeing him said to Jesus, 'Lord, and what about this man?' Jesus said to him, 'If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!'" (John 21:21-22)Our responsibility, married or not, is to first and foremost FOLLOW JESUS. Not our husband or the ideal of having a husband. If we have been blessed to have a husband that follows Jesus first and dies to himself to make us thrive; our job is much easier because we have a vibrant example of this right beside us; and I have to say that I am exceedingly blessed to have a husband that tries to live life like this. But if you're not in this situation, although it's difficult for me to say this, Chanski and DeMoss show us in scripture that we can't use this as an excuse to NOT pursue Jesus and follow his commands for our lives. It is up to the Lord to change our husbands, not us, and as we are obedient, God can choose to use us to show Himself to our husbands. (We see truth of this in 1 Peter 3:1.)
Lie #21. I have to have a husband to be happy. The truth is that the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy. Women who get married for the purpose of finding happiness are setting themselves up for almost certain disappointment; they seldom find what they are looking for.... The truth is that happiness is not found in (or out of) marriage; it is not found in any human relationship. True joy can only be found through Christ.And this is something new to me, but DeMoss herself is nearly fifty and she is not married! What insight she has on what it means to be a godly woman and uphold godly marriage!
For a woman who rejects the mind of the world and puts on the mind of Christ, it is counted a great honor to follow in the submissive footsteps of the servant-hearted Son of God. For there's no more prestigious role in the world than humbly occupying the position, and performing the role assigned by one's heavenly Father. This is what it means to be Christ-like (p. 40-42).After reading these words, God quickly began to put my 'work' into perspective. Yes, the laundry is out of control. Yes, the dishes are dirty and piling up. Yes, I need to rerun the dryer and fold those clothes. But in doing that, I should do it for the glory of God. It's a privilege to be able to do this work for Him, and I should do it with a glad and rejoicing heart. All of this work is part of my role as a woman, wife and mother and being the manager and keeper of my home. No, I shouldn't allow everything to pile up like this. I need to be more disciplined and get it done on a regular basis. But God's grace is sufficient for me even when the laundry piles up, and His grace is sufficient to save me from my self-centeredness when I just want to do what I want to do and NOT the things that I should do -- take care of my house and family well. Although it feels 'lowly' at times, it's no comparison to the servant-like example that Christ provided for us, and I'm very thankful to be reminded of this great gift this morning.
For the lips of an adultress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.Now, when we first read this, it can be very easy to skip right over these verses because we would never consider ourselves an adultress, and for the most part, I hope that's true. But, if we read past the label that this woman is given and into her actions, I don't believe that we're too far off at times. How many times have we used crafty, coy words to get our way ... to talk our way around something ... to ultimately lead someone astray without even realizing it. We're sinful beings, I don't doubt that we haven't done this! If it's for our own gain, for our best interest, I'm sure that it's happened. But we know deep down that the life of folly is not the path to true life. There is hope and a woman's only fate is not destined to that of "a temple over a sewer." Jesus offers us new life and that's the part that is left out of Cline's argument! He forgot to read Romans! Romans 6: 22-23 says this:
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.This is true for both men and women, and this is far from life of folly ... and from a life as a fake temple over a sewer, but the real deal, thanks to the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16)! If Jesus lives in us, we have his Holy Spirit shining through us to resonate the beauty of Christ, not the rankness of sewage. But we have to be cautious not to give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:27) and to not lose sight of the grace we have in Christ Jesus.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.As we look at Sarah's life in Genesis, we see that even though she acted in obedience to her husband, Abraham, and accompanied him on a long journey from their home in Ur to unknown places, where she did indeed trust God to lead Abraham, she still failed many crucial times.
Sarah's story doesn't end in failure. By the time she gave birth to Isaac -- a full fifteen years later -- God had performed a momentous work of grace in her life. Her lack of trust in God matured into a robust faith. In fact, she is one of only two women listed among the Hebrews 11 'heroes of faith.'How beautiful is that! That even at 91+ years of age, God still chose to use Sarah and to change her for His glory. So much for the saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Sarah was definitely an old dog (no derogatory meaning implied)! And I think the encouraging thing for us here is that regardless if we've been married for a year, 10 years or 50 years, we ALL still need God's grace to submit well. Hopefully at the 50 year mark (and before) our hearts will be more soft and our attitudes will be more gentle to submit well, but we're all in need of the same grace and it's only through that grace and submission to the Lord that submission to our husbands will ever be beautiful. And it's also through that grace and reliance on the Lord that we can stand firm and "not give way to fear" as we continue down this journey.
This God who transformed Sarah's disbelieving heart can do the same for us. If we embrace his plan for our lives and purpose to obey His commands, He will develop in us the beauty of submission. He will enable us to trust Him to lead our husbands to lead us.
